Friday, March 10, 2006

Ten years younger

I'm going to stop watching that programme- having now become convinced that I have hanging jowls, hideous swinging earlobes, a gorilla-like overhanging forehead, and monstrous bags under my eyes; I am also in dire need of microdermabrasion (having my skin sandpapered off) because everybody else is doing it, and if I don't I'll be the only one left with pitted skin. Additionally, I need collagen injections to plump up my lips (will I still be able to sing through them?) and injections of botulism into my forehead so I can't frown when something displeases me. In order to do this I will have to take out a long-term loan which I will finally pay off, only to discover that the ravages of time have overtaken me and I have to do the whole lot again.
I can just do the most sensible thing
I ever thought of-
not look in the mirror,
and spend any spare cash I have
on recording my songs.
Speaking of which... I am plucking up courage to call the Mad Professor, as I want to ask him to do a dub mix of 'The Word is, Goodbye'. I wonder if he will?


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