When he was very ill, as his life was ending, he asked to see me.
I was told he was wearing a mask to help him breathe. I'd just had four teeth out, and had gas through a horrible-smelling black mask to make me go to sleep, which was one of the most dreadful things that had ever happened to me in my life. I was too frightened to go to see him.
I had no idea what it would feel like when he was not there any more, and nor did I understand how much it would have meant to him to see me as he lay dying.
I have never forgiven myself for this, the heartlessness of being young.